Listening Like an Improviser
What jazz, improv and leadership have in common
Dear Reader
I was recently working with someone on my team. We had talked about the same thing several times. It was something small that needed to be adjusted in how they showed up. Each time I thought I had been clear but nothing changed.
In our most recent conversation I was more pointed. Not aggressive, just direct enough to get their full attention. This time the message landed.
What struck me was not what I said but what they did not hear all the times before. I asked them to recap our last discussion on this topic and they genuinely could not remember it. The words were said but they were never really received.
You can communicate your best insight in the most elegant way possible but if the other person is not truly listening no change happens. Listening is not passive. It is how understanding gets created. Without it all the best words in the world evaporate.
What Have I Been Learning
Learning to be an effective listener has been a real practice for me over the years. People generally tell me I am a good listener and for a long time I believed them. But then I started working with Alan Weiss.
Alan is the best communicator I have ever seen in action. What makes him world class is not just his ability to speak, debate or think critically on the fly. It is how he listens. He is completely present. He’s not consumed by trying to formulate his next statement or his own inner narrative. He picks up on what you are saying, what you are not saying and what you are trying to say but cannot quite articulate.
Then he responds instantly and directly, but only after he’s fully listened. It is like an improviser who knows exactly when to build on your idea and when to reframe it.
That is when I realized you cannot be a top tier leader if you are not a top tier listener. And you cannot be a top tier listener if you are not able to improvise in real time.
Where Have My Travels Taken Me
Last week we stayed with our friends Marjorie and Dominic in San Miguel de Allende. They had just bought a beautiful new home and were so excited to share it with us.
In the past we would visit for short drop ins. But each time I noticed the slight disappointment when we would leave. They wanted more time with us. This time I really listened. Not just to the words but to what they felt but did not say outright.
So we stayed longer. A full week. We shared amazing meals, swapped stories and listened deeply to each other’s perspectives. It reminded me that listening is not just about big work conversations. It is also how you catch the quiet invitations in your life and say yes to them.
What Am I Reading
I have been reading $100M Leads by Alex Hormozi. On the surface it is a book about marketing and driving new business. But what stands out is how much of great lead generation is about listening. It is really about understanding what people want, what they fear and what makes them lean in.
In the noise of the market the best messages come from listening first and then improvising the right way to meet people where they are.
Closing Insight
Most people think they need more words to be persuasive or more structure to be clear. The real power is learning to be so present that you can improvise wisely. Like a jazz musician riffing off the other players you build something alive, unexpected and true.
Until next time,
Kursten