The Muscle of Yes
How accepting generosity builds more than connection—it builds you
So much richness in life is lost because we hesitate to say yes.
I got to know someone casually through a project—a connection from a board member. He was soft-spoken, humble, and unassuming. We’d only met a few times when he invited me to travel with him back to his home country of Ghana.
He stayed at my house the night before we flew out. We were cleaning up after dinner when he casually mentioned he was getting married. “But don’t worry,” he said. “It’ll be small. Nothing big.”
When we landed in Accra, I noticed a blacked-out SUV waiting on the tarmac. I assumed it was for someone important—until he turned to me and said, “Hey Kursten, our ride is over here.”
We bypassed customs and were ushered into the VIP terminal.
Only then did I start to realize that this trip might not be what I expected.
Over the next few days, I settled into life with his extended family. I learned he was part of the Ashanti royal family. Not only did I attend the wedding—I somehow ended up in the wedding party. And I sat next to the Queen during the wedding proceedings. We traveled to villages across the country, meeting elders and family members in every region. His family treated me like an honored guest.
And to think: I almost said no.
What Have I Been Learning?
I’m learning to say yes. To take people up on their offers. To let generosity in.
Like any habit change, it doesn’t happen all at once. It’s like going to the gym. You don’t walk in once and walk out strong. You build the muscle with repetition. You practice.
Recently, I was back in my hometown. I usually rent a hotel when I’m in town for business—it feels easier, less invasive. But this time, my friends insisted I stay with them, just like I always used to.
And because I’ve been strengthening this muscle—the muscle of receiving—I said yes.
We had an amazing dinner. Hours of visiting and catching up. I stayed the night. And I could tell, without a doubt, that they were genuinely happy I was there.
Why was I so worried about putting them out—when all they wanted was to share time and space?
Accepting an offer isn't taking advantage. It's receiving connection.
Another moment stood out to me recently. A client was in town for some project meetings, and she was excited—her son and daughter-in-law lived nearby, and she rarely got to see them. She invited the whole project team to join them for dinner.
Most people gave polite thank-yous and declined.
But I said, “I’d love to come.”
That night, I had a great time getting to know her family. And afterward, with tears in her eyes, she said, “You know, Kursten… I’ve invited coworkers many times over the years. You’re the first one who’s ever come.”
It meant so much to her. And it reminded me: sometimes the pinnacle of respect isn’t what we say—it’s what we accept. Just showing up can mean the world.
Where Have My Travels Taken Me?
Flying internationally recently, I had an overnight layover in Houston.
While waiting in the lounge for my final leg, I sat down beside a man who struck up a conversation. We got to talking—he’s traveled the world. He and his wife are both physicians based in Austin, and they spend much of their time in Guatemala.
He’s also a bagpiper, originally from Galicia—a region in the northwest of Spain with strong Celtic and Scottish influences. I didn’t even know that existed.
By the end of our conversation, he invited us to visit them in Guatemala City, thinking our wives might hit it off—both being doctors.
And you know what? I think I’ll take him up on it.
What Am I Reading?
Adam Grant’s Give and Take comes to mind—a book about the power of generosity in building success, and the surprising strength it takes to receive. The most generative relationships often begin with someone making an offer—and the other person letting them.
Closing Insight
Saying yes doesn’t always feel natural. It can feel indulgent, awkward, or uncertain. But the more you do it, the stronger you get.
Saying yes is a habit. A muscle. And like any muscle, it gets stronger with practice.
The next time someone offers you a hand, an invitation, or an experience that feels “too much”—pause. Ask yourself: What am I really afraid of here?
Sometimes the most meaningful moments come not from what we do, but from what we’re willing to receive.
You don’t have to earn every good thing that comes your way.
Sometimes the only qualification is your openness.
Say yes.
Until next time,
Kursten
Totally! The Yes muscle 💪🔥 is where the magic happens! Saying yes opens up so many new doors. I appreciate you sharing these inspiring stories to be bold and practice saying yes! 🙌😊