The Pipe is Plugged
Overwhelm Is Not the Workload, It Is the Narrative
Dear Reader
Some time ago, I was supporting a project where one of the leads was struggling in ways that went far beyond what was visible on the surface. On paper, she had the necessary experience and qualifications. She understood the technical demands of the work and had performed well in previous roles. But in this context, everything seemed difficult. Tension followed her into every meeting. Communication broke down. Decisions that should have been simple became unnecessarily complicated. People began to disengage.
As I observed more closely, the pattern became clearer. Her internal narrative was entirely overwhelming her ability to lead. She was consumed by a deep and persistent belief that she was not good enough. She told herself, again and again, that she was not intelligent enough, not qualified enough, and not capable of succeeding in this environment. These were not passing thoughts. They dominated her internal world.
What I began to see was that her cognitive resources were being drained before she even opened her laptop. It was as if her mind were a pipe meant to carry clean, focused energy, but it was completely clogged by emotional sludge. Self-doubt, fear of failure, and the need to hide her perceived inadequacies left very little space for actual productive work. Her decisions became evasive. She avoided accountability. She redirected attention to others in subtle ways, often blaming teammates or circumstances as a strategy to escape her own discomfort.
This is what overwhelm often looks like. It is not simply the result of too many things to do. It is the result of internal narratives that consume the limited bandwidth we have available to focus, to think clearly, and to act with intention.
In many cases, the path forward is to help people change the story they are telling themselves. As a coach, that means creating the conditions for insight, because true change never begins with advice. It begins with a shift in awareness. From that new awareness, thoughts begin to change, and new behavior becomes possible without having to force it.
In this particular situation, it became clear that the issues were more than behavioral. They were rooted in deeper mental health concerns, including perfectionism and a powerful sense of imposter syndrome. It required more support than coaching alone could provide. Even so, the larger lesson remains. If you are feeling overwhelmed, start by examining the quality of your inner world. The fastest way to create more capacity is to remove the thoughts that are clogging your pipe.
What Have I Been Learning?
I have been paying close attention to how language either reduces or intensifies the experience of overwhelm. When tension rises, language often becomes sharp, vague, or emotionally charged. What someone says in a moment of stress can either open the pipe or clog it completely.
Recently, I observed a situation during a team meeting that made this painfully clear. One person, under pressure, began using phrases such as, “You always interrupt me,” and, “You never help when I ask.” Her tone was sharp. Her eyes rolled. She physically withdrew from the camera. Everything about her posture and expression said that she no longer felt safe or seen.
What happened next was predictable. The conversation shut down. Trust dissolved. Collaboration stalled. The team did not move forward because the emotional undercurrent had taken over. It was no longer about the task. It was about self-protection.
This is why overwhelm is not just about having too much to do. It is about the emotional load that comes from how we interpret what is happening and how we express those interpretations through our words and actions. Language reveals what we believe. When our language signals blame, helplessness, or resentment, we are adding emotional weight to the situation rather than creating clarity.
If you want to reduce overwhelm on your team, start by listening closely to the language people are using. Notice what is being said, how it is being said, and what it is costing the conversation. In high-trust environments, people use clear, direct language that invites participation. In low-trust environments, people use guarded, reactive language that shuts others out.
Mastering this difference is not cosmetic. It is foundational. When people learn to speak in ways that reduce emotional friction, the work becomes lighter. The pipe clears. The team begins to move again.
What Am I Reading?
The book I have been reading recently is A Brief History of Financial Euphoria by John Kenneth Galbraith. It is a fascinating study of how speculative manias develop, from tulip bubbles to the dot-com boom. What makes it so compelling is the way it shows how repeated cycles of collective delusion are driven not by facts or logic, but by belief and emotion.
What stands out most in Galbraith’s writing is the idea that people do not simply lose their rational judgment during these euphoric periods. Rather, they suspend it intentionally. They choose stories that make them feel safe, hopeful, or important, even when those stories are completely disconnected from reality.
This ties directly into the theme of overwhelm. Whether we are dealing with markets or with individual performance, the stories we tell ourselves carry extraordinary power. They either help us access clarity and energy, or they block our ability to think and act with intention. A false story, even if it feels comforting, always leads to false steps.
Closing Insight
When you are overwhelmed, the first place to look is inward. Begin with the narrative. If your thoughts are filled with fear, self-judgment, or imagined failure, you will exhaust yourself before the day even begins. The solution is not to try harder. The solution is to clear the pipe. The work will begin to flow again as soon as the noise begins to fade.
Until next time,
Kursten