Dear Reader,
One of the greatest markers of leadership maturity is the ability to self regulate. To choose your behavior regardless of someone else’s emotional state. This is not about being cold or detached. It is about anchoring in your own values, purpose, and clarity so you do not get swept up in someone else’s storm.
Not long ago, I was working with a client who was upset with some advice I had given them. As soon as they brought it up, they shifted into emotional overdrive. They said things like "I am very concerned about what you are doing here" and "You are biased," layering in tone and intensity to push an emotional reaction. It was not a genuine inquiry or conversation. It was a tactic, consciously or not, to emotionally pressure me into agreement.
In the past, I might have taken the bait. I might have gone into justification, apology, or retreat. But not this time. I held my ground.
What I saw was that they were unable to perceive what I was seeing, and instead of becoming curious, they tried to override my position with emotional force. If I had given in at that moment, I would not have been doing what they hired me to do.
So I simply asked, "Are you actually interested in my assistance here? Because from the behavioral cues I am seeing, it looks like you are not." That question stopped them. They paused. And something shifted. The tone changed, and we were finally able to open up a real dialogue. From that point on, they began to see what I was seeing. And we made progress together.
What Have I Been Learning
Lately I have been studying macroeconomics and market cycles. It has completely changed the way I approach trading and investing. Not because it gives me the ability to predict the future, but because it helps me filter out the noise.
When you understand the larger cycle at play, the day to day swings do not shake you as much. You are not pulled in by every fear based headline or reactive piece of content designed to make you panic so you will buy someone’s product or service. Instead, you develop perspective. You begin to see where we are in the broader arc of things. That clarity allows you to regulate your emotional response and act with more confidence.
I have also been applying tools like technical analysis and momentum tracking to strengthen my decision making. These have helped me stay rational and disciplined, and the results have been transformative. The real breakthrough, though, is not just in performance. It is in presence. I am not reacting impulsively. I am responding intentionally. That is the essence of self regulation, and it applies just as much to markets as it does to leadership.
Where Have My Travels Taken Me
I have not traveled far recently. I have been back in my hometown, walking familiar streets, visiting familiar places, and seeing people from earlier chapters of my life. But sometimes the most meaningful journeys are not physical. They are emotional. Being back has stirred up a range of feelings, both positive and painful.
What I have practiced during this time is allowing the emotions to be there without needing to act on them. I have noticed the nostalgia, the regret, the joy, and the ache. I have let myself feel them all, fully. But I have not let them drive my behavior.
There was a time when being back would have triggered me into old patterns. Now, I use it as a mirror. A place to reflect, to ground myself, and to appreciate how far I have come. Coming home is not about going backward. It is about seeing the growth that was not visible until now.
What Am I Reading
I have been reading The Conscious Parent by Dr Shefali Tsabary. It has been a powerful reminder that parenting is not about control. It is about awareness, presence, and emotional responsibility. As a new parent, this has hit home in a very real way.
What strikes me most is how much parenting demands the same emotional discipline I use in my consulting work. The ability to self regulate, to resist the urge to control or coerce, and to respond with clarity rather than react with force. I have been learning to manage my own stories and expectations instead of projecting them onto my daughter. I have been working on setting clear boundaries without being harsh or punitive. And I have been practicing brain friendly approaches that invite connection and learning rather than fear or compliance.
Parenting, like leadership, is an inner game. The more grounded I am, the more I can show up with the kind of presence that helps others grow. And that starts with staying unhooked.
Closing Insight
Whether it is leadership, investing, or parenting, the pattern is the same. The emotional noise around us will always be there. What changes everything is your ability to stay steady in the middle of it. To feel it, but not be ruled by it. To care, but not collapse. To stay grounded enough to lead others through the storm without letting it consume you.
Unhooking is not detachment. It is ownership. And when you lead from that place, everything shifts.
Until next time,
Kursten